"And I spent so much time hating him for how he made me feel when, in the end, I realized that I was doing it to myself. I was the one who acted like I didn’t deserve more than that. I went back time and time again to what once was and held on so tightly to the idea that someone wanted me like I should be wanted, even if it was in fleeting moments."
to do list
buy running shoes and sign up for the y
start taking film photos again
finalize marfa trip
stop waking up in the middle of the night
go see art in NYC and surrounding cities
quit messing with my earring
be more open in general
to do list
buy xmas presents
stop eating out
stop being a lazy bum, go outside, live up my youth and whatever.
ignore 2am texts and not think “zomg if i don’t go over there, he will forget about me foreverrr”
stop complaining about and crying over how my new job is “the end of my arts admin career”
learn to be more thankful for what i have
actually figure out what i want in the future and what my goals are
resist the urge to buy everything
DONT BEING AN EMO BIATCH AND STOP WHINING TO PEOPLE.
i got stuck in the middle of a conflict at work.
i got into a fight with both my mom and sister.
i’m feeling left out and extremely alone.
…all before the holidays